Breathless Hesitation
by glo1196
Summary: Yes, its another post finale fic, and a late one at that. How can two people who love each other mess things up so much. Where will their lives go from here. There will be at least one M chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**Yes, this is another post finale fic, and a late one at that. First few chapters are written, and eventually there will be at least one M rated chapter (of course its me). I hope you give it a chance.**

**Disclaimer: If Castle were mine it would run at least two more episodes this year, so we would all know her answer. So, what do you think she says?**

**Chapter 1 - Hesitation**

"I've been doing a lot of thinking about us. About our relationship, what we have…" He says and she notices he can't even look at her; he's focusing past her. She hears everything he's not saying, "What we don't have."

Time doesn't just drag; it practically grinds to a screeching, disastrous halt. New York crumbles and fades around them. The scar on her chest burns, as her heart clenches as it prepares itself to be tragically torn from her chest. She can't breathe, she can't think, her muscles tense as she prepares for her life to change forever. Her mind screams to stop him from talking, but no words escape.

"Where we're headed," he continues in a voice void of warmth, just like his expression.

She watches him stare straight ahead as if he can't bear the sight of her anymore; it's slowly choking the hope out of her. Her fingers tighten around the swing's chain painfully. The turmoil raging within him obvious in every move, every word he struggles to get through, and she prepares.

"I've decided I want more. We both deserve more."

He wants more, and suddenly she knows deep within her heart that "more" undeniably means a life without her. That "more" means someone who isn't her, someone who can love him as he deserves.

Royce's warning, to never put the job before her heart, echoes through the recess of her mind. Her chest aches as her heart prepares itself for unbearable pain. Her father's words of wisdom about her running from commitment join the confusion.

She agrees with him, because she believes he has made up his mind. That he has finally given up after all the pain, stress and sadness she has caused him. She can't blame him.

He stops talking and starts standing up. She can't bear to watch him walk out of her life. This isn't what she wants, she wants him, she wants it all.

She stares intently at their beloved swings as he moves away. His eyes suddenly come into view again, startling her. Her heart stutters as she stares again into those beautiful blue orbs she loves so much. Confusion takes over as she watches him kneel before her.

"Katherine Houghton Beckett will you marry me?" The words don't register at first. Her eyes focus on the beautiful diamond ring he holds in his trembling hands. The symbol of all she truly means to him, of everything she wants.

Their eyes meet and she sees his tears welling up. He's laying his heart at her feet, fully expecting her to crush it. She sees it in the seriousness in his eyes and the worry lines on his forehead. He doesn't think he has a chance in hell of her accepting the ring. This beautiful wonderful man, who has changed her world and risked his life so many times for her, is laying his heart at her feet praying for a miracle he doubts will come.

"Castle…Rick." She barely whispers, but is immediately left speechless, as she tries to come up with words. She doesn't have any and she sees everything in his eyes. The hurt every second that goes by causes him. The rejection he is stealing himself against. She sees the walls he is building around a heart so pure and a love so ferociously loyal and strong, that it steals her breath away.

He starts to get up.

"No." she mumbles under her breath and shakes her head. His shoulders sag and his eyes drop to the ground in defeat. He reaches out and gently takes her hand, dropping the ring softly into it. He closes her fingers around it, kisses her hand and starts to move away.

"No." she says louder. He looks so disappointed and heartbroken like his entire world is imploding around him.

He turns to look at her and she is looking down at her open hand with tears streaming down her face. The pain in his heart too much for him right now, he has to get away to the privacy of his loft to lick his wounds and drown himself in a bottle of his best whiskey. Maybe just maybe salvage a tiny bit of his pride.

"Bye Kate, I wish you the best in your new job. If you need me I'm always here for you. I love you." He turns away and starts to walk away from her for possibly the last time. The waves of pain sweep through him like nothing he has ever experienced, and he knows without a doubt that he is losing everything he has ever wanted.

"No Castle…you can't do this." Her voice is raw and raspy with emotion. She knows they aren't the right words. She knows that he doesn't understand their meaning, but she has to d something.

**More to come soon….**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is chapter 2! Hope you enjoy it. If you placed this story on an alert of favorite, please think about leaving me a review? It would be greatly appreciated. Castle Monday was so lonely without it. 18 more weeks to go I heard!**

**Chapter 2 – Words of Love**

"Don't go, Castle." She sobs between stuttering breaths. He turns away from her slowly. Her hands tremble, and her heart breaks watching him walk away. This is her chance to get this right before he walks out of her life forever. Closing her eyes she takes a deep breath, the pain in her chest is unbearable, but this man, he is her life. When that happened she is not sure, but without a doubt he has ingrained himself into every single area of her life.

He stops but does not turn around. His head hangs down, and he doesn't look at her. This man who wants her faults and all, has admitted defeat. And for a second it feels like all that is bright, and loud and Castle has been extinguished, and her world is dark, because without him there would be nothing.

"I'm not, I'm not going. I have everything I need here." the sob that escapes her shakes her to the core.

"I have a job I love, a family I can't live without, and I have you, Castle, you." She reaches for his hand, dragging each finger open and dropping her ring back into it. "I love you. When I was standing on the bomb I meant it, I love you."

Castle's eyes brim with unshed tears, at her words, but doesn't understand what she's doing. His head drops to avoid looking at her, hiding the pain he knows she will see in his eyes. She's still turning him down, and she's returning the ring. Holding the hand with the ring between both her hands tightly, she brings their intertwined hands over her heart. Her lips brush gently against his fingers.

"I want this, Castle. I want us to get there, and I know we'll get there, but not like this." Her voice breaks as the tears trail over her cheeks. "This should be a happy occasion."

Her fingers tip his jaw so she can look into his eyes, forcing him to look at her. "We aren't there yet. Look at the mess we've made of this?"

"All I've wanted for weeks is to know where we are going, Castle. If you wanted the things I did. I needed to know we were on the same page and that we were aiming for the same thing. I am scared, so damn scared, and that's not me. I don't know how to do this. I don't want to mess this up." She waves her arms between them.

"I've never been in a relationship this important." Her hands wrap around his midsection and she draws him to her. She molds her body against him and settles under his chin. Hoping he understands everything her heart is telling him. "Castle, I have both feet planted inside the door, and it scares me to death. My dad said I tend to run at about this point in a relationship, and he's right. Losing you though…. A life without you in it…." She stops and looks at him, her eyes fill with tears and the words get caught up in the emotions.

She feels his strong arms snake hesitantly around her. He nuzzles into her hair and she can feel him inhaling the scent of her, hesitantly he places a kiss on the crown of her head, and then sighs.

"Mother and I talked too," his voice is low and raw with emotion. "Kate, I've had this ring now for three months. I talked myself into thinking that I was not afraid of the next step, that I wasn't avoiding making a commitment because I had bought it. I was fooling myself, but I'm still terrified. I almost let you go, at the first sign of trouble now that we're together. I'm so afraid of losing you, of you walking away, of not being enough. Not being what you want or need." He draws her tighter into his embrace, enveloping her in his strong arms and broad chest.

"I want you to take this job if it is what you really want Kate. You're exceptional at what you do, and this is an opportunity of a lifetime. With your drive, and skills you can reach your potential there. I can't be the reason you don't go. You're meant for greater things."

Kate molds herself to his body, seeking the warmth and love he so willingly gives. She places feather like kisses on his chin and cheek. Their foreheads meet and she takes a deep breath.

"Castle, you are everything. I want my father to walk me down the isle, to YOU. I want to curse you during the delivery of our beautiful blue-eyed children. I want to grow old and grey with you, and never miss any birthdays or anniversaries. Before you, this job would have meant everything to me. I know it's a great opportunity, but it would leave me without all the dreams that are now a real possibility. I'd miss the magic that makes life worth living now. The magic you have made me believe in again." Reaching up she tenderly strokes his cheek, with the back of her hand. Her fingers wrap around the back of his head and draws his lips to hers. Her warm breath ghosts against his lips before he feels her tongue gently slide between his lips in a searing kiss.

"Mommy why is that man sticking his tongue in that woman's mouth? That's gross." They hear a child ask his mother innocently.

The mother quickly moves the child away from them shooting an angry look in their direction. Giggling like teenagers they separate slightly and their foreheads touch.

"This isn't a definitive "NO?" he asks as he they start walking them away from the swings.

"It's not even a maybe, Rick. I want to marry you. We'll get married, just not right now. It's not the right time yet."

She cups the hand with the ring in it. "Hold it until it's time and ask me again, Rick."

"No," he answers. He takes the ring and cradles her left hand in his. "I can wait for the right moment again. I can take this as slow or as fast as you want. What I won't do is give anyone else the impression that you are available. Katherine Houghton Beckett you are mine, and with this ring the world knows that someday you will be my wife." Kate's eyes fill with tears of happiness as Castle slowly slides the ring onto her finger.

"It's a promise, Kate from me to you; that we'll always work things out, because we're better together than apart. Because a life with out you is no longer a life worth living for me." He wraps her in his arms and sighs contentedly into her cherry kissed hair.

Arm in arm they stroll slowly out of the park towards her cruiser, enjoying the warm spring day. They pick up hotdogs at the cart vendor at the edge of the park.

Castle somehow finally gets to drive her cruiser back to the precinct, with Kate stressing that it's a special occasion and the boys aren't to ever know. He smirks and holds up his pinky and she hooks hers in the childhood code of silence.

Finding a parking space near the traffic packed precinct, they get out and get ready to go up to the bullpen. Kate instructs Castle to give her a half hour before he comes up, then turns to enter the always chaotic precinct.

The crowded bullpen currently buzzes with the usual activity for this time of day. Detectives and uniforms are going about their usual work day, answering telephones, checking information on computers, and drinking coffee by the gallons. Kate spots Gates locked in her office currently chewing out someone on the phone. The boys spot her and quickly approach her, their faces full of concern.

"Hey, you ok?" asks Espo as she shakes her head. "Girl you look like crap."

"Come on Beckett. What's going on?" Ryan says as he nudges Espo with his shoulder. "Man you definitely need lessons on how to talk to a girl."

**Thanks for reading, and as Mickey Mouse says….see ya real soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

**So here is chapter 3 and 102 people have put this on alert! Thanks guys! I wish that there were more reviews but it is what it is. This chapter has been bugging me. It feels off, but I am not sure where to change it, so it's going like this. Let me know what you think?**

**Disclaimer- thought I'd put one in though no one here is fooling themselves into thinking I am Mr. Marlowe…so of course they aren't mine.**

**Chapter 3 - Revelations**

"Hey Beckett, where's Castle?" Ryan asks. Kate smiles at Castle's mini me. The bond those two have forged is almost as strong as the one she shares with Espo. Her nose crinkles up and her eyebrows wrinkle as she shakes that thought out of her head. Maybe not quite the same, Espo and her have gone through quite a bit, and have shared a little more than most in the years they have known each other.

"What's going on Kate?" Espo's concern is clearly etched on his features, her silent knight in shining armor. "You said you guys had a fight is everything ok? Where's Castle?"

"Castle is on his way, guys. Relax you aren't losing your Halo buddy. We just needed to work something out. I was offered a job in the F.B.I." She didn't look at them when she said it, she knew the boys would be upset.

"You what? When? Did you interview?" asked Ryan as he looked at her suspiciously, already not liking where this was going.

"It was at the beginning of this case, wasn't it?" Espo interjects when he remembers how disheveled she looked when she arrived after Castle during the last case. "Castle beat you to the body, and said you had left him to write. You went to D.C. and interviewed didn't you?" Esposito shakes his head sadly. "You went without telling him, didn't you?"

She is embarrassed to admit it, and that it is so easy for Espo to think that of her.

"What were you thinking, Beckett?" Ryan asks as he looks at her disapprovingly. "I thought you two were doing great? This is big and you never talked to him?"

"I know I was wrong. He accidently found my boarding pass when we were cooking dinner at my place a couple of days ago. He confronted me about how little I thought of our relationship. I didn't mean to hurt him." She feels the pain of that moment as if it was happening again. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"But our relationship is important to me. I just wanted to see if I could get the job. I wasn't even thinking about actually taking it until everyone said it was such an incredible opportunity. I never thought I really had a chance."

"Who else knew you did this?' Ryan pipes in.

"My dad, Lanie, Gates…."

"You told Gates before you told us? Girl, we're your back-up, your team." Esposito reprimands as he walks towards her. Clearly exasperated with her behavior.

"They called Gates for a reference. Believe it or not she gave me her highest recommendation. Told me she would have jumped at the chance in her younger days. That it's what I was meant to do. The agent interviewing me told me it was an opportunity that came only once or twice in a lifetime. Then my father told me it was a great opportunity. Though he asked me point blank if I was hiding from a relationship from Castle and running away before I could get hurt. Lanie told me to talk to Castle. Everyone gave me suggestions but I was so confused after talking to them. That I didn't talk to the most important person of all."

"You talked to Lanie too? What? We chopped liver?" Espo whines as Ryan shakes his head in agreement.

"You didn't talk to Castle, did you?" Ryan questions not at all sure where this was going, disappointment clearly marked both of her teammates features.

"I got offered the job." She tells them avoiding eye contact. In her pocket she fingers the ring and it gives her the courage she needs to continue. "I had made my decision when you guys asked me what was wrong earlier and I told you I had to tell someone else first." She lowers her voice as she finishes speaking. Her thoughts quickly return to that moment where she could have lost it all.

"You took the job didn't you? Damn it Kate, after everything we've all gone through together? All the years Castle sat here waiting for you to see him." Esposito's anger was obvious. His words were short and clipped as he tries to keep his voice down. "I was with that man when you were shot, Beckett. He loves you; he'd give his life for you. Where is he now? Beckett, I've always had your back, but this time you've gone to far."

"Espo, I…" she tries to defend herself.

"Save it…" Espo growls as he tries to mask his anger.

"What's going on guys?" They hear behind them, Castle waltzes in looking like the cat that ate the canary.

"You ok, Castle?" Ryan asks a bit nervously.

"Yeah, why?"

Castle walks over to Beckett and pulls her hand out of her pocket to hold it. Both Espo and Ryan watch the gesture when a huge smile spreads across Ryan's face.

"Holy crap! You asked her and she said yes?" he asks excitedly as he spots the ring on her finger. Castle and Beckett smile in response. Then just as quickly his mood darkens. "You're both leaving aren't you?"

Esposito is trying desperately to catch up. "What the hell are you talking about, Ryan?"

"Look at her hand Espo." Ryan instructs and if he weren't so upset at the prospect of his friends leaving he would have laughed at Espo's awestruck expression.

"Close your mouth before a fly flies in Espo." Beckett teases. "Yes, I said yes, but we aren't setting a date. Not yet, we still have a lot of things to work through before we get there."

"You're taking the job in D.C. though aren't you and Castle's going with you?" Ryan asks again though this time he starts to move away towards his desk, not wanting to hear the answer.

"We did talk about it, but no….I'm not going to D.C. It is a wonderful opportunity, but my home is here, my family is here. I love my job and this city. I am happy here for the first time in such a long time. Prestige isn't everything, I like where I am and I love who I'm with. I could have never left and been happy." She smiles as Espo sweeps her off her feet and twirls her around in the middle of the bullpen, attracting the attention of Gates. Ryan turns to Castle and gives him a man hug and a brotherly pat on the back.

"Never thought you two would ever make it." He smiles.

"Detectives, what is going on out here? My bullpen isn't a playground." She scolds them, but then her eyes narrow as she turns to Beckett.

"Detective, may I see you in my office, Please?" as she turns away and walks purposefully back into her office.

Beckett turns to the boys and shrugs. Then walks over to the office door. They hear Gates tell her to shut the door and take a seat, as she gestures to the chair in front of her desk. The boys watch the animated conversation from Esposito's desk.

"Detective Beckett. I see congratulations are in order." She says without hinting at what she is talking about.

"Sir?" Beckett raises an eyebrow and asks. Her hands start to sweat as she tries to hide her nerves.

"I gather that that little display of camaraderie out there means something?" She waves out the window towards the boys and catches a glimpse of them watching. "Did you get offered the job?"

Beckett gathers her wits about herself and steals a glance over towards Castle before responding.

"I did Sir, but I turned it down." She waits for a reaction from Gates but doesn't get one. The woman sits behind her desk expressionless, and waits for her to continue.

"This is my home, Sir. My team is here, my family is here, this is where I give others closure. This is where I belong." She is shocked to see Gates observing her with a smile on her face.

"Something wrong, Sir?" Kate asks with a questioning look.

"That partner out there had nothing to do with your decision to stay, Kate?" Gates nods her head in the direction of the little group huddled around Ryan's desk.

Beckett follows Gates gaze into the bullpen to where the boys are trying to watch what was going on in the office without being conspicuous.

"He has everything to do with it, Sir. Without him, I wouldn't be who I am today. Without him, I wouldn't even be here right now." She says as she smiles lovingly at him.

Gates raises an eyebrow and points to the ring on Kate's finger, with a mischievous smile on her face. "That shiny new object on your finger might have something to do with it too?"

Kate looks like a deer in the headlights, as she nervously fingers the ring on her finger. "Relax detective, you and I have more in common than you think. I was never offered a position such as yours, but I'd pass up other job offers for the same reason you did. A strong woman knows how to have it all and be happy detective. If this is what you really want, I am happy for you."

Gates gets up from her chair and approaches her best detective. To Beckett's surprise Gates draws her into a friendly hug. "I am glad you're staying detective. Take the day off and celebrate with your team and that unorthodox partner of yours. See you tomorrow, and congratulations."

Beckett turns to leave with a huge smile on her face. Her decision to stay made stronger by the woman standing before her. "Thank you Sir. Thank you for everything."

She reaches for the doorknob and open the door into the bullpen. Kate walks over to her team and smiles. "Gates has given us the rest of the day off to celebrate. So Old Haunt, can I buy you guys a drink?"

She turns to Ryan, who is already headed to his desk. "Ryan why don't you call Jenny and I'll call Lanie." Beckett says. "We'll meet there in an hour, ok?"

Ryan and Espo return to their desks attending to last minute tasks before leaving.

Castle and Beckett walk to the elevator and wait for its arrival. Stepping inside Beckett turns to Castle and grabs his collar, trapping him against her body and the wall of the elevator. Their lips meet in a searing kiss as the doors grind to a close.

**Would love to know what you think? Thank you to those who have reviewed you guys rock! Thank you to all who have put this story or me on favorites or alerts! Happy no sneaks Thursday **


	4. Chapter 4

**Trying to get the chapters out to you guys as soon as possible. Teaching and two part time jobs, not to mention 3 kids, keep digging into my writing time. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Please think about reviewing, it makes my day! This chapter is T, but the next one will definitely be M. Hope you enjoy!  
**

**Chapter 4 – Interrogations**

Castle and Kate arrive before everyone; passing through the crowded bar she spots Castle's photo on the author wall, and remembers the first time she saw it. How even back then there was something so raw and electric between them.

They walk to their usual booth at the back corner of the bar, providing them some privacy from the rest of the bar. Kate's nails are trailing back and forth over his inner thigh as whispers into her ear.

"Katherine Beckett, if you don't stop teasing me, I am going to drag you caveman style down to my office and have my way with you." He hears her hum at the thought.

"All talk and no action, Mr. Castle." She teases as she cups him and runs her fingers up and down his hardened length.

They hear a commotion as they see their friends heading towards their booth. Castle grabs her hands and stares into her lust-darkened eyes. "We'll continue this later when you won't have the upper hand. Detective," he hisses in her ear. A chill runs through her veins causing her to shiver. "This," he runs a finger down her side and to her knee. "This is all mine."

"Interrupting something?" Espo say as he raises an eyebrow at the couple and smiles mischievously.

"We were just killing time waiting for you." Kate smiles knowing full well they're caught smooching. "Sit down and take a load off."

Ryan and Jenny squeeze in first, followed by Lanie and Espo, who think no one knows they are dating again. Castle takes orders and excuses himself to get the first round of drinks.

Lanie immediately drags her into the ladies room as soon as they get settled. Hands on hips, finger wagging, ready to give Kate a piece of her mind, she makes her stand between the toilets and the sinks.

"You come looking for me at my morgue, ready to talk. You give me nothing substantial to work with but cryptic bits and pieces of information. Then you disappear to a body drop, leaving me hanging, until I hear from your two goonies that that you got a honking piece of shine hanging on your hand? Girl you been holding out on me? How did you go from a job in D.C. to getting the freakin rock of Gibraltar on your hand? Katherine Beckett you better get talking before I get real riled up!"

Kate explains as best she can as Lanie watches her through squinted eyes. As Kate's story unfolds Lanie's posture relaxes. She can't help but be happy for her friend. When Kate finishes Lanie hugs her friend tightly. "I'm happy for you Kate. It's about damn time you two took the plunge. Now don't go screwing it up, or I'm going to dope slap you into tomorrow."

"I won't Lanie, he is my one and done." Kate says as the blush rises into her cheeks. "We have a lot to work on, but we will do it together."

"All I'm saying Kate Beckett is that I better be the one trying on Maid of Honor dresses when the time comes. I earned it girlie! You two are a walking fairytale."

"It's a deal Lanie. I can't think of anyone I'd want more than you."

Twenty minutes later, and lots of finger wagging later, they finally emerge from the bathroom, just before the boys called out a search party for Beckett's body. Arm in arm the girls returned to the table laughing. They spend the evening celebrating with good champagne, shots, friends, and lots of laughs.

Towards the end of the night everyone is tipsy and the alcohol has settles leaving everyone feeling good. Castle challenges Kate to do shots with him, as the boys and ladies look on.

"How many times do I have to tell you she can take you, Castle? That girl has a hollow leg." Lanie slurs as she slaps Castle on the back.

"I don't need to drink to take him." Kate says as she wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him passionately. " I can take him any time."

The boys make gagging noises and turn away from them making mom and dad comments as Lanie and Jenny giggle.

The close group drinks, laughs and celebrates into the wee hours of the night before finally calling it a night and heading to their prospective homes.

Man hugs and lots of congratulations later Kate and Rick are finally alone in his office.

"Let's go home, Castle," she whispers as she nibbles on his ear. "I want to show just how much I love you." Her warm pliable body wraps itself around him and he gasps when her hips grind deliciously against him. Her lips plunder his mouth, grinding them against his and forcing her tongue into his hot pliant mouth, scraping along the ridged area behind the front of his teeth and then intertwining and tangling it with his. She teases him relentlessly, tantalizing him until he is delirious with want.

"Yours or mine?" He growls as his control dwindling quickly as her hands roam his body wantonly.

She smiles at him waiting for him to understand her meaning. "I want to go home with you, Castle." Her warm breath glides over his skin as her fingers dance lightly through his hair. She waits for the realization to hit him. His arousal is achingly evident as it sweetly presses against the moisture pooled at the juncture of her thighs. Neither of them suppresses the deep, guttural moans that escape from the back of their throats.

"Damn, it Castle." She growls between clenched teeth.

Castle pulls away from her in confusion. Searching her face, and eyes for the clue he is obviously missing.

"Home is where you are, Castle," she mummers as she closes the space between their bodies. He shudders as her lips and teeth trail down the slope of his neck. Kate nuzzles her nose into the crook of his shoulder, her tongue darting out to taste the salty tang of his sweat over his pulse point. Her fingers bunch his shirt as she pulls it free from under his belt.

"Home with you, Castle." She growls. "If you'll have me?"

She can feel the moment her words register. His kisses become possessive and hungry. His fingers scorch her skin with desire, and every inch of her consumed by a desperate fiery arousal only he has ever awakened. God, the things only he could do to her.

"Today and everyday until eternity, Kate." His voice drips arousal, and he feels the shiver that courses through her. His teeth glide over the long lines of her neck as he slides his hands under the shirt she is wearing. His fingers skim under the crest of her breast and her nipples pebble in response.

"I want you, Castle." She murmurs into his ear. "Take me home and make hot kinky love to me." Her hand slides between them and she cups him, sliding her hand firmly over his hardness. "I have my handcuffs with me."

Castle's eyes widen and he grabs her hand away from him. "You do that and it'll be hard for me to stop, Kate." He kisses her again, slowly winding them down. Intertwining their fingers they ascend the stairs to the bar. "Let's continue this at the loft. Let's go christen our home."

**Get a cold drink for the next chapter. No worries some the M parts will be clearly marked for those who don't want to read it. Please let me know what you think so far though. Have a great Memorial Day weekend!**


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter is part T and part M rated. I have separated the parts with a break line of CBCBCBCBCB, below that everything in italics is rated M until the next CBCBCB break and normal lettering at the end of the chapter. Please let me know what you think of this chapter. Love the reviews you guys are so awesome and I am grateful to all of you for letting me know what you think.**

**Chapter – 5 Expressions of Love**

They make it to the car before their lips meet again. Hands flail wildly reaching and touching each other, as wild fiery passion ignites between them again. It will be a miracle if they make it to the loft.

The elevator ride in his building can only be described as indecent. Hands wander over loosened clothes, moans escape and teeth scrape against warm pliable skin. Neither can restrain themselves from the scorching touches or passionate kisses being exchanged, luckily no tenants need the elevator.

They finally tumble recklessly through the door in a tangled mess of limbs. His hands are bunching the soft fabric of her shirt up and over her head, as she moans into his mouth wantonly. His large hands splay across her back possessively and under the waistband of her of work pants, causing her to arch against him. He can't get enough of her, and his front door has become a particular favorite of his to take her.

"Too many clothes, detective." He growls as he expertly flicks open the back of her bra. His hands are instantly drawn to the smooth skin between her shoulder blades; he kisses the trail of the bra strap as it slides swiftly down over her shoulders. His fingers pull the black lacey material from her perky breasts. He watches intently as her breasts are revealed to him, and he licks his lips in anxious anticipation.

Kate's nipples pebble with just his intense stare. Her senses already prepare themselves for the delicious assault only he can provide. The bra drops to the floor between them unceremoniously. His hand skims the tight muscles of her stomach and closes gingerly over a breast; thumb brushing back and forth against her peaked nipple.

"See something you like, writer-boy?" she teases as she grinds her hips against him, and bites her bottom lip.

CBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCB CBCBCBCBCBC

_Castle makes quick work of sliding her pants off her hips. He slips a finger under the side of her lace thong and twists it. His other hand is splayed wide against the middle of her back keeping her anchored to his chest._

"_I hope you have no attachment to these," his voice is low, lustful and feral as he tears them off her body in one smooth motion._

_His hand slips down her body, cupping her hot center as he slides a magnificently thick finger deep inside her, as his thumb rubs frantic circles on her swollen clit._

_"So wet, Kate" he growls against her neck, then slips another finger into her. Her gasp gets caught in her throat at the onslaught of sensations coursing through her._

_She throws back her head as feral moans escape her. She grinds herself down on his hand, urging him to increase his speed. Kate feels herself clench around his fingers and pulls his face to hers plunging her tongue deeply into his mouth. _

"_Oh God, Castle….So close…Castle!"__Her breath is fast and uneven; her heart beats wildly in her chest. The heat between her legs coils and suddenly spreads fiery molten want throughout her body__. __He holds her as she convulses and trembles around him as her violent orgasm overtakes her. She buries her face roughly into his crook of his neck, finger clutch desperately at his shoulders as her body quivers in aftershocks._

_Beckett hungrily devours his mouth as her fingers deftly loosen the buttons of his blue oxford, she snatches his shirttail from his slacks with purpose; then slides the shirt off his shoulders, trapping his arms for a brief moment, before she slides it off. Kate trails her hands over the taut muscles and skin now bared, and openly admires the man before her. His intense stare never waivers as he watches Kate slowly runs her nails over the contours of his chest, kissing the trail of raised skin left behind. When she is done she runs her tongue from his collarbone to the top of his jeans, inserting her tongue in his bellybutton to catch his attention._

_"__Castle, I want you so bad." Kate groans as she feels him firmly against her._

_Kate works on removing Castle's pants and boxers. Her eyes hungrily take in his lean muscular body and her desire boils ferociously through her veins. The site of naked Beckett kneeling before him practically makes him become undone._

_Castle feels her warm breath against his balls and then the soft touch of her tongue against them, finally she draws them into her mouth. Her moist lips cause him to whimper and whisper her name as if in a prayer. She runs her tongue up the length of him excruciatingly slow._

_Gently pulling him into her mouth, taking the tip and circling her tongue around the sensitive top. Her hands work his balls gently; as she takes him deep into her mouth and throat. Castle's legs buckle for an instant. The growl that escapes from deep within him is nothing but primal in nature. His hips buck roughly into her mouth. Instinctively he snakes his fingers through her hair and guides her motion. His frustration grows, as does his desire. She grabs his tight ass raking her nails over his cheeks frantically sucks him in and out of her mouth. He reaches down and pulls her to her feet._

_Lips meet is searing kisses that turn possessive. Their hands roam each other's bodies in total abandonment. Castle steers them towards his bedroom until the back of her legs meet against the side of the bed. She turns to crawl across the bed when a visceral growl escapes him, and he lunges on her. His length lodges between her ass cheeks and _

_Her hips buck and he loses total control as he spreads her and enters her; sheathing himself deeply._

_Kate fists the sheets around her as a scream escapes her. Her body arching up to meet his, in desperate need. His teeth latch on to the smooth skin at the back of he neck, as he marks her, as his._

_He's not gentle. This is primal, hot and he wants her like he has never wanted any woman. His body slaps against her forcefully, and he watches as her body arches and cants in response._

_She has lost all semblance of coherent thought. Words do not form as she desperately tries to make sense of the overwhelming need coursing through her body. Grunts, growls and partial syllables of what could possibly be his name tumble incoherently from her lips, as she claws the sheets and bed below her as her hip meet his in a dance of primal need._

_The burning heat between her legs coils and spreads throughout her body, like molten lava. All coherent thought escapes her, other than the imminent release she is seeking. His words in her ears are like liquid heat coursing directly to her core, sending a sexual message of unsurpassed need._

_Her abdomen coils with a deliciously addicting tension, sending liquid warmth to her loins. She's gasping for air and feeling lightheaded as her body drifts on the cusp of an incredibly intense orgasm. Blinded by newfound heights of ecstasy that devour and consumes her shattered body Kate goes over the edge, taking Castle with her._

CBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCBCB CBCBCBCBCBCBCB

Castle is mesmerized by the beautiful woman lying spent beside him, even after a year of her sharing her bed and life with him, he can't get over how magical it all seems. There isn't a day where he doesn't thank his lucky stars for the day they crossed paths during the Tinsdale murder.

He traces a finger across her forehead, and gently moves her hair off her face and behind her ear. A tender smile crosses her lips as she opens her eyes and looks at him.

"How did I ever get so lucky?" she asks him, then pulls him in for a sweet kiss. She cradles his face with one hand and runs her thumb over the 5 o'clock shadow now gracing his features. She wonders how she was able to keep from touching him before.

"You know…I am quite a catch, as a matter of fact I am the White Whale." He snickers. "You're just damn lucky I picked you to spend….."

"OW OW OW!" he screeches like a little girl as Kate holds tightly to his ear and twists it. Sometimes you need to put that 9 year old on a sugar rush back where he belongs.

"Apples woman!"

**Will update as soon as I can! **


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm not sure what I am going to do with this story. I am enjoying writing it and I have a few chapters mapped out, but interest seems to be waning, especially if I look at reviews and such. Please let me know if you think it is time to put this baby to rest or continue. Thank you to all who have reviewed, you guys make writing fun and I appreciate it very much. Only 105 days until the premier give or take a week or two.  
**

**Disclaimer – If they were mine we would have our answer already!**

**Chapter 6**

They knock on the brownstone door and wait patiently. Castle looks like a child about to be reprimanded for stealing the cookies out of the cookie jar, he is so nervous.

"Castle," she says as she looks at him through her long lashes. "He doesn't bite….much. What are you worried about? "

"Come on Kate, this is your dad. If you were my daughter I would own a Uzi and give you a bodyguard to ward of the multitude of men." He grumbles nervously.

"Really? You think I need a bodyguard to ward of men?" She raises her eyebrow in question as she watches him.

"Have you met you, Beckett? Your hotness is not anything to fool with. I bet your dad waited with a baseball bat by the door to make sure the young men didn't try anything when they dropped you off."

They hadn't noticed the door quietly open as they traded volleys back and forth, and her father stood there watching.

"It was a Louisville slugger from when I played ball in high school, and I would turn on the porch light, rattle the door lock and open the door with it hanging by my leg." She chuckled as he spoke. "Scared off quite a few of those scummy hoodlums she would drag home, I'm proud to say."

"Dad!" she whines as she tries to defend herself. "They weren't hoodlums."

"Oh the 21 year old you brought home when you were 17, that had more oil in his hair then in his Harley, and tattoos of topless hula girls on his arms was an absolute alter boy?" he smirks. Kate blushes and looks away, she can't believe now she dated that guy. Her father had been right abut him, but he would never know.

"So, I had a rebellious stage." She quips and tries to make light of it.

"Still in that stage if you ask me." Jim Beckett reaches over next to the door and produces the infamous bat he was just referring to, and gently swings it over his shoulder, as he looks at Castle. Castle suddenly feels like what those young Beckett suitors must have felt.

"Put that thing away before one of you two gets hurt, Dad." She scolds as she kisses her father's cheek tenderly and enters his home. Castle follows closely behind her, smiling at Jim as he walks by.

Jim Beckett closes the door behind them and walks through to the living room welcoming them inside. He smiles to himself as he watches them walk into his house obviously in a better place than just a few days before..

"So, to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?" Jim asks as he motions for them to sit down. "I doubt it was walking me down ex-boyfriend memory lane."

"Can't a girl be out and decide to stop and visit her father?" Kate asks as she smiles radiantly and gently slides her hand into Castle's on his lap. Jim notices how happy she looks compared to the distraught troubled woman of just a few days ago.

He watches the exchange curiously and then a sudden realization crosses over his features as he spots a new piece of jewelry on his daughter's hand.

"Katie…" he whispers on a breath. His eyes slowly meet hers and she sees tears welling up in them, he remains sitting on the love seat across from them motionless. His eyes travel from Kate, to the ring, to Castle and back.

"Dad…" she starts but is suddenly cut off by a nervous Castle.

"Jim, I know I should have asked you first. That's the proper way to do this, but I love her and I needed to tell her before it was too late. I'm sorry I didn't come and ask you for her hand first." Castle watches the man as his eyes keep wandering between the two of them and their clasped hands.

"You've changed your mind, Katie?" He asks nervously, hoping his prayers had been answered, after their last talk at the diner.

"I couldn't do it Dad. You were right I was hiding and throwing myself into my work again. I was so afraid of risking my heart, that I was willing to lose it all on my terms. You were both right. I bury myself in cases and work when I can't deal with life. This is home. This is where I belong, where I make a difference. It is where my heart lies." She shifts and looks at Castle lovingly. " My family is here, and everyone I love is here. This is where I need to be."

Castle can't take his eyes off of her, and it takes Jim clearing his throat to bring him back to the conversation.

"Mr. Beckett, I asked your daughter to marry me, and she accepted on the condition that we work on our issues before setting a date."

Jim Beckett stands up and envelops his daughter in a bone-crushing hug, as Castle watches unsure exactly what to do next.

Jim extends his hand to Castle and pulls him up into a man hug. "Congratulations! I was starting to think that all hope was gone, and you two were going to screw it up so bad it would be impossible to fix." He turns to Kate and holds both her hands in his before he continues.

"Katie, when you met me for lunch the other day, I knew you were making a huge mistake. This job was a wonderful opportunity for you and you would have excelled, but eventually it would have caught up with you. It wouldn't have been enough. The person you have become has different needs that a job alone can't fulfill anymore. You would have lost everything here, and in the end wouldn't have wanted that job. It would have only brought you unhappiness." The sadness in Jim's voice was heartbreaking.

"Why didn't you tell me that when we were there?" Kate looks from her dad to Castle and back.

"Katie, you are your mother's daughter. Sometimes is frightening how alike you two really are. You two are headstrong, ambitious, and downright stubborn. If I had said that then you would have never listened. I told you that you would have live with how your decision affected others." He looks over at Castle making it clear whom he was talking about. "I haven't seen you so happy, carefree and open since before your mother's death. You have dreams again, your smiles light up your face, and you're more open with people and participate in life. All these things have happened in the last five years. It is no coincidence that Castle arrived five years ago."

Castle doesn't know what to do with himself. He looks uneasy at the way this is going, because what he does for Kate he does for love, and it isn't anything he thinks she doesn't deserve and more.

"Sir, Kate has done the same for me. I wouldn't be the man I am today if it wasn't for her," he says as he turns and faces Jim. "I hope you'll still give us your blessing."

"Castle you had my blessing the night I asked you to not let her throw her life away. I wouldn't have asked you for help if I didn't think she would listen to you. " Jim avoids looking at his daughter as he speaks.

"Dad?" Neither man has ever said what happened that night to her.

"I went to Castle and asked him to stop you from going down the rabbit hole. I knew that only Castle had the ability to stop you, even back then." Jim ran his hand through his hair uncomfortably. He looks nervously at Castle. "It was before Montgomery was killed."

"Castle?" she whispers as she sinks back into the sofa they had been sitting at.

"Your father came and asked to stop you from throwing your life away. Montgomery told me I was the only one with the ability to stop you after I asked him to take you off the case. I tried Kate, I really did. I went to your apartment we argued and you told me we were through."

"Dad why didn't you ever tell me?" she asked.

"I knew you would never listen to me. I disappointed you when you needed me the most. I lost myself in the bottle after your mother's murder and left you to fend for yourself. To grieve alone, and I am partially at fault for the way you are now. I knew from all the times we talked that Josh wasn't the one that made you smile, the one you told stories about, the one who's company meant anything to you. I watched you come alive after Rick came into your life and knew if anyone was going to get through to you, stop you from throwing away your life, it would be him. Katie, your mother would've never wanted that."

Kate wipes a tear that escapes her. Her mind is reeling with emotions and images of that time.

Kate stands up and kisses her father on the cheek, then turns to face Castle. She wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly. "Thank you." She whispers in his ear. "You've always had my back haven't you? "

Castle smiles at her but doesn't answer he doesn't need to.

"Why don't you guys stay for dinner? We can order in and celebrate your announcement. Rick, I can show you pictures of Katie as a kid. I think I may still have a picture of grunge man somewhere." Jim teases and winks at Castle as he laughs.

"I wouldn't want to miss that," Castle laughs as he wiggles his eyebrows and smiles at Kate.

"I think that's when Katie decided that short, spikey, pink, hair was fashionable, and her mother almost killed her when she saw it. Not to mention the heart attacks she would give me with the clothes she wanted to wear out of here." Jim laughs as he goes into the other room to fetch the photo albums. "Katie, call and order Chinese from that place you like here. While I dig these out."

She turns to look at Castle. " It really wasn't that bad," she laughs and then turns more serious. "I love you Castle. Where you are is where home is. Thank you for fighting for me." She pulls his down to her and places gentle kisses against his them. "And when we get home I will show you exactly how grateful and happy I am to have you in my life" She tells him as she reaches for the cell phone and calls to order their dinner.

**Let me know what you guys think ok?**


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